What a sales pitch is, and how to write a sales pitch email

The sales development expert Matthew Roberts from Mosaic.tech, Ex-Chili Piper shared some insights for this article.

Many sales teams, entrepreneurs, and freelancers are looking for easier ways in creating a sales pitch. They use well-known templates, cliché words, and structures, skipping digging deeper into customer problems. They think that personalization is just adding a company name to a subject line. They end up with low open and response rates, and nobody buys their products. 

Yes, we understand that salespeople often need to play around with quantity rather than quality. Though they don’t need to craft and personalize emails to each prospect. The idea is to develop a system for business sales messages once and prepare quality emails faster in the long run. 

Here we present what we discover could be a universal formula for a good sales pitch. You can tailor the framework to your audience.

Notion: in the article, we are mostly talking about the first cold email sales pitch. DON’T confuse it with a sale proposal (detailed document at later sales stages) and first cold email in general.

What a good sales pitch is

A good sales pitch is a timely message to the right person explaining why and how you and the recipient can benefit each other. Such a pitch speaks directly to the person’s professional struggles or challenges, evokes emotions, and is hard to ignore. 

B2B sales pitch examples: breakdown of real cold emails

Honestly, it is rare to find genuinely good sales pitch examples. Here we collect bad, average, and quite fine examples and break them down, underlining both solid and weak parts. 

Bear in mind that pitch templates aren’t universal. You should consider context, customer personality, deal size, and other business peculiarities if you want to outperform competitors. 

1. Competitive research tool.

Despite common opinion, there is nothing wrong with long sales pitches. Though, every statement in the text should provide value. 

In this example, the person overdoes with explaining the customer's problem. The main idea is only at the end of the message. 

The guy probably has a helpful tool. Many people just skip it due to the outsized dramatic intro, though. 

2. Link-building software.

The first sentence is an example of good personalization, even though it isn’t tied to the text that follows. This turns it into personalization for the sake of personalization. Also, it is not clear from this example of a sales pitch why we should pass up our current solution in favor of their unknown tool. Few will agree to the change if there isn’t a strong need or substantial advantages of the new provider. 

We can rewrite the example of a sales pitch this way: «Used your GetProspect yesterday. Great tool…I am interested… do you have a link building strategy...?» Then add a review, mentioning the exact customer and company who gave it, instead of praising yourself. 

3. Diagramming application

The beginning is vague and non-specific, so your email pitch probably won’t be read. The recipient will see the first lines and delete your message.

Social proof is quite OK, while the evidence they are the #1 alternative is missing.

4. Video production.

Links in cold emails are quite risky. Many companies' settings will block your message, which means the recipient won’t see it.

It isn’t clear what the person is talking about and wants from us in the sales pitch script example. 

Asking for a reference to the more relevant department in the recipient’s company is a good idea. Keep in mind, though, that only a few will refer you. They simply don’t have any motivation to do so. 

5. HR management software.

The subject line (what makes your email be opened) is non-specific and looks like spam. We’d replace it with «To {first name}, regarding your HR solutions». 

If the prospect does open the product sales pitch email, though, they are likely to read it. The first sentence commands respect — the cofounder himself reaches out, even if he is currently the company of one.

6.  Local professional services company.

Very good. Everything is clear — the reader gets specific solutions for the specific problem. 

Short offer in the beginning and then details and expertise proofs. It is a good sales pitch practice to add a call-to-action at the beginning of the email since many prospects don’t make it to the end.

How to make a successful sales pitch

1. Avoid being vague with your value proposition

2. Add why prospects don’t need your product

3. Show you are a human 

4. Make people unhappy first 

5. Furnish the pitch with social acknowledgment

6. Make your words stand out

Stop being vague with your value proposition

Turn adjectives in your sales pitch into exact numbers and benefits. Keep things clear and show what makes you different from alternatives. To get the data, ask your champions why they choose your company, then select metrics to compare with competitors.

Here is an example of a vague offer:

Another sample is from the founder of the business development agency Anton Gladkov. Compare the sales pitch ideas:

The drones will reduce the work of surveyors and save you a lot of time.

VS.

On average, builders steal 15% of construction materials and, in the worst case, even 40%. You will save {this amount} of money. Now you have surveyors working for 6 months, and with our device, everything can be done in 3 weeks. Savings are {so many} millions.

Go backward: add why prospects don’t need your product 

Tell them about your weaknesses in a good sales pitch. The tactic allows you to earn the immediate trust of a lead. 

For example, we won several direct sales from the article. We don’t promise to find 100% of emails. We honestly point out our limitations.

Matthew Roberts describes one more reason to talk about your product's downsides, creating a sales pitch:

«Nothing is worse than having customers that aren't happy with the product, or getting a customer on that is going to need everything put together with tape, rather than a smooth functioning product that meets their needs and doesn't need additional resources in order not to churn».

Show you are a human 

Vulnerable, genuine, imperfect human. Avoid sounding like «Mr. Robot». Here are some ideas on how to create a sales pitch with a human touch:

• share how you’re feeling, such as being wired on too much coffee. 

• Joke about topics related to the prospect industry, profession, or another common characteristic of the group you are sending to. Laughter establishes a sense of connection between two people.

• show genuine curiosity. Ask something you don’t understand about their profession/interests and show you have already tried to learn it.

• add your personal story. You don’t need to prepare an essay — just several sentences about e.g. your failure with prospects like them or how you had the same problem they have.

Make people unhappy first 

One of the sales pitch techniques is to raise emotions with your text.

«Emotion is a great trigger to answer the first pitch in my experience. You want to dig into pain, the second you share ROI and numbers, people seem to ignore them. Gong released that ROI in cold emails/calls has around a 41% less success rate than those that don't mention ROI». — Matthew Roberts.

You can make them laugh and speak to your commonalities, like loving some sports. The most effective way, though, is to draw their attention to their professional pain. In your perfect sales pitch, show them you know the problem and explain if they don't hear about it yet. Make them unhappy.

Remember. You should at least assume they have the problem to push forward. If they don’t have the problem your solution helps with — leave them alone. You aren’t going to convince the person to need a heating system if they don’t. 

To reveal the pain, you typically need to ask the right questions to your new customers and leverage insights from current customers (new ones probably have similar problems).

When you know the pain, you then just solve or at least relieve it. Understanding that you want to make the prospect’s life easier, makes you confident and leaves zero expectations from the sales pitch. …And actually drives you towards necessary outcomes.

P.S. Since customer personalities differ, experimenting with emotional pitches always back it up with numbers. Moreover, with big deals — you should have a considerable competitive advantage, so clients will switch to your product.

Furnish your sales pitch with social acknowledgment

Consider that each audience might need different social proofs in the product sales pitch. For example, large corporations might require their competitor among your clients, while some companies want to see reviews from their industry, or the number of reviews plays a role. 

A more or less universal approach is video reviews. Though they should be spontaneous, honest, and imperfect with «hmm…well… um…» Actually same applies to text reviews. 

Note: avoid sending video reviews in the first cold email — it might hurt your deliverability. 

Other forms of social proof: proven ROI from your client, referral, a significant number of customers in their vertical, etc.

Make your words stand out

Most languages are rich in synonyms. So, avoid using cliché words and phrases that you can find in any example of a sales pitch that feels spammy. It will help stand out in a prospect’s inbox and catch their attention.

How to write a sales pitch for a product

• Ask current customers what they get with your service

• Demonstrate a substantial divergence from competitors

• Avoid focusing on pitch length. 

• Focus on the relevance of each statement 

• Make sure you have a logical structure of a sales pitch narrative

• Adapt tone of voice to your prospects

• Add social proof relevant to your customers

How to start a sales pitch email

The beginning of your pitch is why your prospects will open or ignore your email. It doesn't matter how good your email body is if it doesn't get opened. That’s why we recommend putting effort into a subject line and opener. Doing this will inevitably unearth your best way to start a sales pitch. Here are several types of working beginnings.

1. Make the prospect feel «Bingo! It isn’t just me». Your first sentence express their professional «true story». Here is the example: the person thought he was the only old-school guy, and the other person came and offered a solution to his challenge — bingo! «You just blew my mind…».  

2. State an astonishing fact about their work that relates to your solution. It can be in the form of a new perspective, counter-argument, etc. Example: 5 ways to spoil your email personalization.  

3. The other best way to start a sales pitch is to mention data that clearly demonstrate what your prospect is missing out. Imagine you are a salesperson for yard maintenance services. The stat — «50% of homes don’t use yard maintenance services» is a lazy and dull way to start your pitch. This version is more to the point: «50% of homes don’t use yard maintenance services, resulting in thousands paid to HOA every year». 

4. Refer to the person they know (you don't have to know this person). For instance, you create a sales pitch and send 2 similar emails to decision-makers asking in the subject line: «would you and Naomy be interested». Another case — you outreach a decision-maker and ask about the person who will use your product: «will Tony benefit from this». 

5. Сurious. Use the sales pitch practice if you have problems with the open rate or if it is hard to catch your customer's attention. The subject line might have little relevance to your solution, arousing a very strong interest at the same time. Here are some examples: tell you are interested in THEIR service, «Don't open this», «Re: Meeting Next Week», «{Name}, your recent acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry», «this could be us…».  

How to close a sales pitch: your best CTA

This part of the sales pitch motivates responses. In fact, CTA may be placed at the beginning of your sales pitch presentation if a prospect won’t read your email to the end. Here are some tips for nailing your call-to-action.

1. Ask for interest in the first email.

2. Clearly explain what you want from your prospect.

3. Make it okay to opt-out.

4. Make it easier to respond.

5. Leverage the power of hidden CTAs.

Ask for interest in the first email. It is less pushy (than asking for a meeting), and such a question doesn’t bind prospects in any way. Examples. Would you like me to tell you more about this case/how it works? Would you be interested in getting 200 free leads? For XYZ reasons, I think the solution will benefit your business a lot. Would you mind discussing how exactly? Would you like to see a quick video explaining this further?

What are you getting at? The recipient should clearly understand what you want with this email and what are their next steps, e.g. respond with «yes», choose a suitable day and time for a call, and subscribe. 

Make it okay to opt-out. Point out that you might be wrong in offering your solution to the prospect. Example — does this sound familiar? Or am I off here?. And, sure, add an unsubscribe ask. For example — just reply «N» to the email, and I stop any further communications.

The easier it is for leads to respond, the more likely they are to do so. Exclude open questions in your sales pitches — offer a multiple-choice response. What do you think about my offer? → Answer «yes», if you want me to send the resources. 

Leverage the power of hidden CTAs. You can furnish your email signature with a link to your website, a link to a relevant resource, a link to the demo, your photo to earn more trust, etc. 

Use «P.S.» when appropriate. Most people will read it. Sales pitch ideas: include valuable industry stats, rephrase your CTA, create urgency, or add something personal about the prospect.

Tips for a sales pitch: summary  

• Translate adjectives into explicit numbers and benefits in your sales pitch

• Gain trust by being honest and human

• Play around with rational and emotional arguments

• Know why prospects need your product and why they should trust you ;)

• Use original words and phrases.

• Put effort into the subject line, opener, and CTA

Sales pitch - FAQ

What does a sales pitch mean?

A sales pitch is a message about a service or product with the end goal of selling it to the recipient.

How long should a sales pitch be?

The sales pitch should fit on the smartphone screen. It is about 50 words. The message may be longer. If you go this way,  your long text should be engaging from the first sentence to the end. Keep in mind, that the recipient is more likely to look for a reason to skip than to read to the end.

What makes a good sales pitch?

A good sales pitch embraces 

• step 1 - deep research on customers pressing issues; 
• step 2 - finding the right contact and reaching at the right time; 
• step 3 - a beginning that resonates and piques curiosity; 
• step 4 - personalization; 
• step 5 - human touch; 
• step 6 - a concise value proposition; and an explicit call-to-action.

What is the last step of a sales pitch?

The last step is explaining the next stage and motivating the response. This part expresses the clear action we expect from the prospect after our pitch on the way to buy. The action should be as easy as possible so that you will have higher odds of a positive response. 

How to improve your sales pitch?

1. Focus on helping rather than selling.

2. Get rid of a popular sales pitch template and cliche words. 

3. Build trust with acknowledgment from clients.

4. Be honest about your weaknesses.